Well the dust has settled and I think I’m finally recovered from my week in NY for APAC (Audio Publisher’s Association Conference) and the Audies. It is always such a great time, but definitely a whole lot of output. Combined with a weekend jaunt upstate to visit my family, it was an action-packed seven day merry-go-round that didn’t stop. Very fun but pretty exhausting!

I first went to APAC in 2010. It was a great experience back then, but such a different one. I remember feeling so strange and out of place, knowing hardly anyone and wanting so desperately to become a part of the community. I am happy to report that 3 years later, it feels as if things have definitely shifted. I felt so comfortable and at home, reuniting with people I hadn’t seen in a long time, or have only seen on Facebook. It was especially great to see people I’ve worked for but have never actually gotten to meet! Tons of great conversations and genuine connection.

The day started off with a bang as I got to read for Cory at eChristian, during my Director Diagnostic. Cory and I connected on many different levels; he was just great. The rest of the day was filled with informative panels and ended with a nice happy hour and then dinner with some good friends.

The next day I got to audition for and then tour the Audible studios headquarters in Newark, NJ. What a cool place! I loved the open “.com” atmosphere- so progressive and modern! I think it would be a great place to go to work every day. They hosted a whole day of workshops regarding self-recording, which were very informative and helpful.

That night (after locking myself in a closet to record a spot for a client on the West Coast who was in a jam) my flat-mates and I got decked out and went to the Audies. The Audies are like the Oscars of Audiobooks. The highest honors in the community, the best talent all in one place; it really is a glamorous and special affair. Everyone is in a great mood, it’s such a jovial atmosphere and it really is a great chance to hang out with people outside of a “networking” setting, simply just being people and having fun. The highlight of my night was getting to talk to Julia Whelan about her awesome narration of one of my favorite audiobooks of the year “Gone Girl” by Gillian Flynn.

The next day I met a friend (who graciously came with me while I retraced my steps back to the place where I was staying, after realizing I had left a drawer full of clothes and jewelry-whoops!) Then I headed upstate on the Metro North about an hour and a half to New Paltz, where I’m from.

My whole family still lives in New Paltz. Like, all of them! Extended family- siblings, nieces, aunts and uncles- so the good thing is, I get to see everyone in a very short amount of time. The challenging thing is that I have to see everyone in a very short amount of time!

The next day we visited the Catskill Animal Sanctuary with my nieces. Lots of petting and animal love.

Then it was one more day of visiting and suddenly it was time to head back to Newark to catch a plane back to my life out West. I have to say, it is wonderful to visit back East, to feel the energy of the Big Apple and the calm familiarity of the Hudson Valley. But it is always nice coming home…with many new memories to treasure!

June is Audio Book month and we’re celebrating. Just back from APAC (Audiobook Publisher’s Association Conference) in New York and definitely feeling the love for our tight knit and talented community! Audiobook peeps are some of the nicest and most interesting people in the world. I sat down last night with my good friend and awesome narrator Gary Dikeos for a short chat about audiobooks.

Gary and I are part of a project going all month long entitled “Going Public…In Shorts“. In honor of #JIAM2013, one or two stories every day of the month are being released. The selections are all short stories in the public domain and they’re being read by an impressive list of today’s top audiobook narrators.  The stories will be available for streaming, but better yet, if you purchase the story, it is a donation benefitting Reach Out and Read, so please do consider making the purchase. At $1.95, it’s a steal and it’s benefitting a great cause!

This project was conceived and produced by the one and only Xe Sands. If you haven’t checked out Xe, you must. She is quite amazing. A lover of all things audiobooks and an absolute maverick at social media, she is an innovator and a doer – and that just feels inspiring to be around. Check out her sweet project for The Velveteen Rabbit here.

To listen to Gary’s story click here.

To purchase it, click here

Want to hear more?

To check out yesterday’s offering, read by Audie Award winning narrator Simon Vance, featured My Books My Life blog, click here.

To see what’s in the pipeline for tomorrow, visit Teresa’s Reading Corner.

Thanks for watching and listening! If you liked this post, please do share it!

I am working from home today, as I do many days, and I am musing on how to be nicer to myself through this. It can be difficult. Lonely and freaky sometimes, especially for “people” people. I have been trying to figure out a way to enjoy myself more, worry less and actually be present to how cool it is to not have to punch a clock, have anyone micro-managing , no stupid meetings to go to, no set lunch time…come on, isn’t this what the 9-5 world dreams of? And yet, I can find myself many times becoming stressed out in an internal frenzy of what to do next and what I really should do and WHY is this audition taking so long?? The inner monologue goes on and on, subtly taxing me.

Today I am being nice to me. I am taking breaks every hour or so – going outside and petting my dog, doing a few yoga stretches or walking around the block. It doesn’t take much – just something to break the monotony and tunnel vision, the subtle tension that creeps in and silently wreaks havoc from sitting and staring at a computer screen for so long.

Here are some other things I’m thinking about:

Do I have goals for today? When I have specific goals, I can measure and see if I have achieved them. If I achieve them early in the day, I can choose to go further or I can elect to finish for the day and go read a book on my patio or hike with the dog or go see a movie. If I don’t set clear goals, I have no way of knowing if and when i’m ever “done” (and you know, you’re never done!)

Do I make human contact? As voice over creatures, we are so people-oriented. I can get really weird if I don’t talk to anyone all day (except my microphone and whomever I’m imagining talking to…) I make it a point to pick up the phone at least once per day and make contact with a friend or colleague. It gets me out of my own head and adds enjoyment to my day.

Am I staying in my pajamas all day?  I will admit, there is a novelty to being able to work in pj’s…but trust me, it gets old. I need to show up for myself. If I was working in an outside studio, I wouldn’t come in without a shower…or at least having washed my face, combed my hair and brushed my teeth! But when working from home I can suddenly find myself hours into my day without having done any of those things. When I shower and put on real clothes it helps me feels more powerful, more focused and well, more like a real person!

Do I put music on? I love music. I am a music person. But sometimes I get so wrapped up in what I’m doing that I can go days forgetting to listen to some music- ugh! Obviously when I’m recording I can’t have music on, but when I’m invoicing, emailing or doing any other number of office tasks, I am trying to remind myself to put music on- it makes me happier! Suddenly I feel less like I’m doing “work” and more like I‘m just hanging out, doing what I love to do.

Do I have good food in the house? Healthy food that is either already prepared or easy to prepare? Working from home, oftentimes you don’t think about things like lunch. Until it’s too late. I find myself suddenly starving, padding into the kitchen only to find either a) nothing or b) nothing that’s easy and quick to prepare or c) crap that’s unhealthy. If the unhealthy crap is there and available (especially if nothing else is) I will go for it almost every time. I am learning that I need to stock my kitchen with healthy easy snacks for me. Just because I’m home doesn’t mean I want to spend a half hour preparing a meal and another half hour cleaning up. I need healthy pre-cut carrots and celery, apples and nuts. I have taken to making Sunday my cooking day, setting aside the afternoon to cook up some things that will last throughout the week: a big batch of brown rice or quinoa for instance, roasted vegetables, even a big salad that will last for a few days in the fridge (as long as there’s no dressing on it!) I’m even thinking now that on weeks when I am incredibly busy- say recording an audiobook, I’m actually going to treat myself to a food delivery service. I’ve done some research and there’s actually quite a few options. They run about $115-$125/week… not a bad price, for my health and sanity.

How about taking myself out to lunch? Just bc I’m working from home doesn’t mean I don’t deserve to get out into the world and grab a bite and join the living. Do I step out of my dark studio-cave and see the sun or nature? Sometimes I tend to unknowingly act a bit like I’m in a prison camp – I’m both prisoner and prison guard! I want to let myself out of the cage. This is an awesome life. Let’s enjoy it a bit more, shall we? It starts by being nice. To myself.

And on that note, do I say nice things to myself when I’m recording, or mean things? Am I encouraging and positive? When I listen back do I subtly put myself down with a “meh” or “eeeww…” ? Do I actually give myself props when something sounds good? And for that matter, at the end of the day do I thank myself for a job well done? For a focused and good effort? If I don’t do that, no one’s going to do it for me. I am my own boss and that means giving praise where praise is due and knowing when to tell myself, Ok, you’ve done enough– good work for today; now go have some fun!

The thing is, everything matters. The way I self-talk, the way I self-conduct – just because no one else is seeing it, it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t have an impact. How nicely I treat myself reverberates, contributing to my overall happiness and well being. It’s a subtle art…and today, I’m practicing it.

Last year I had a strong impulse to organize and execute a group vision boarding party at the beginning of the year. I had done vision boards before and found it to be a very powerful experience. I kept thinking about it and thinking about it…and ultimately never did it.

On Friday I facilitated a vision boarding party. It was a long time coming! Makes me think of a story my dad often shared with me. I was about 6 and we were at the Ulster County Fair in my hometown. There was a haunted house and we started to go into it. I got super scared and freaked out and wouldn’t go through. We had to turn around and go back out the front. A year later we’re at the Fair again. We enter and I grab my father’s hand and race through the fair,  straight to the Haunted House and drag him in. I must have thought about that thing for the whole year, and I was determined to do what I wasn’t ready for a year earlier. We went through and I loved it. I guess the vision board party was my haunted house for last year.

Sometimes it takes a leap of faith to step out with an idea and bring it to fruition. This is seemingly such a small thing, but for me, it wasn’t. To risk my anonymity, to be seen, to be revealed; to heed the call as a leader or facilitator, to trust an idea and share it with others who might (or might not) be interested- it demands a certain vulnerability, an openness of heart and generosity of spirit that I’m glad I was able (after a year of thinking about it) to rise up to. It is a part of my vision for this year and why I see now that the centerpiece of my board was a big dripping purple heart. I can be bigger, I can give more of myself, I can share and risk and offer up my gifts.

For those who are unfamiliar, a vision board  is a board full of images that represent the things you want to manifest or call into your life. You get some magazines and a blank piece of cardboard or posterboard and go to town, filling it with your hearts desire. It becomes a personal collage of your dreams. You keep it somewhere where you can see it every day and somehow, like magic, it works on your subconscious and draws these things to you. Here’s a little recap of what went down, in case you’re interested in doing your own vision board party.

I invited members of my VO Business Group to come and join me. About 12 people rsvp’d. After everyone arrived we stepped outside and each participant was smudged with sage. Sage has been used for centuries as a clearing tool. It dissipates any negative energy and purifies the space  so you have a clean slate from which to create. Then we formed an opening circle and went around briefly stating who we were and sharing why we were there. I think this step is important as it unifies the group and creates an environment of trust honor and respect. We talked about keeping everything that was revealed confidential. After all, we’re dealing with people’s personal hopes dreams and aspirations. That’s sacred stuff and needs to be protected. In a confidential environment, people feel truly safe and free to reveal their truth.

I asked folks to bring their own poster board and any scissors, glue sticks and magazines they might have been willing to share. People really came through with this request and my house was overflowing with more than enough for everyone. It was literally a sea of magazines along the floor and it felt like we were all swimming through possibilities. People found a space at a table or on the floor and went to work, flipping through pages and grabbing images and words that spoke to them. The idea is not to think too much, but to let yourself  choose whatever is calling to you. What do you want to bring into your life this year? It could be something physical, like a new car, or it could be a state of mind or an attitude or anything at all that you’d like to manifest and have in your life. You don’t have to know how you will get it, just that you want to get it. This is a first step towards envisioning these things in your life.

One of the most touching things that happened is that people spontaneously began calling out images they found that might not be right for them but might work for someone else. Does anyone need any video game images? How about the word BOOM? A puppy? A great body in a bathing suit? People freely began to share and think not only of their own visions, but of others, a beautiful and unexpected plus of doing this exercise in a group setting. Some of the things on my board wouldn’t be there if it weren’t for some thoughtful soul sharing it. A reminder that our greatest potential is often found in community.

While we worked we listened to an amazing cd that a good friend gave me for Christmas: Rhythms of the Chakras, which helped foster a wonderful calming focused and meditative vibe. At the end we all shared our boards one at a time. I think this is also a crucial step, as it not only provides closure to the group but also helps everyone to articulate and solidify their vision. And the power of the group holding space for everyone’s dreams cannot be underestimated. To be witnessed and heard is a huge gift.

The best part about this experience for me was the feeling that everyone came away with something positive that they can take into their lives and focus on for this next year. My house is literally still alive and pulsating with the energy of people’s visions. I can feel it. I also feel a sense of personal satisfaction in having finally followed through with a good idea. It wasn’t stupid or lame or whatever, any of those things my brain told me it was last year. By holding this vision board party, I respected my intuition and in doing so I’ve actually realized a vision of mine. I went through the haunted house. And guess what? It was actually fun.

 

I love a day dedicated to Thanksgiving…and I love the idea of Thanksgiving being a verb rather than (or in addition to) a noun. As I browse through Social Media on this day, I am in love with all my smart and gracious friends and family who know this and are actively giving thanks today for the abundance in our lives.

Things might be tough economically these days but riches truly abound. You can’t put a price or assign a value to the shared human experience of it all, nudging us toward a new and brighter day. People are working hard everywhere and they are enjoying what they have. People are loving their families, they are forming alliances, they are doing their best and looking out for their neighbors. Witness the massive response to Hurricane Sandy. Through pain and tough times, there is laughter and kindness and camaraderie. There is the urgency to do better, to be more appreciative of what we’ve got, to share love and spread joy.

So this day represents an opportunity to give thanks and appreciation on a conscious level for the love, abundance and bounty in our lives. How does one do that? How can I express this bursting feeling in my heart?

In years past it seemed to me this day was reduced to being a day about gorging on food and falling asleep on the couch. I used to be offended by this. I was repelled by the compulsion we have toward stuffing ourselves silly on this day. These days I take a more centrist path. Obviously people work hard and deserve a day of rest and celebration. But beyond that, I became interested in the why behind the tradition of doing that, and found this, which helps me make sense of it all.

In this food, I see clearly
The presence of the universe
Supporting my existence.
-Thich Nhat Hanh

So today I hope to meditate on that as I joyfully fill my belly. It’s not necessary to stuff, but it’s okay to enjoy. It is an act of Thanksgiving.

But before the feast, on this quiet morning, I feel compelled to give thanks in prayer for this joyous mystery, this great struggle, the wild vastness of life and our journey through it. And for my brothers and sisters, all of humanity, who help make sense of it all. I see us today in joined hands across the universe, rainbow lightning between us, a bond that lies perhaps invisible, but strong and constant and energetic. Thank you.

I stayed up last night digging up poetry, grateful to the Internet for allowing me to indulge to my hearts content in the beauty of the written word. As I sat entranced by the likes of Mary Oliver and Charles Bukowski, I felt such wellspring of gratitude open up and flow in my heart. I am grateful to the artists of the world, those brave souls driven wildly to express the human condition, to share and so poignantly decree the triumphant spirit of the living.

I’ll leave off with a poem so happy and simple and joyous that it makes me cry. Gets me every time. It was read at my wedding and I’ll share it again and again as a happy reminder of my gratitude for life on this green earth.

i thank You God for most this amazing
day:for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky; and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is yes

(i who have died am alive again today,
and this is the sun’s birthday; this is the birth
day of life and of love and wings: and of the gay
great happening illimitably earth)

how should tasting touching hearing seeing
breathing any–lifted from the no
of all nothing–human merely being
doubt unimaginable You?

(now the ears of my ears awake and
now the eyes of my eyes are opened)

-e.e. cummings

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. Let it be an action word!

Last week I had a pretty big vo session. I was psyched. The session began and the first thing the director said was “So, Rachel are you familiar with the campaign we have running right now?”

My, was I happy to be able to say yes… and actually be telling the truth! Years ago I might have been in that situation and not have been able to answer so confidently. I might have mumbled yes and really had no idea what they were talking about (as my mind raced for images). Or, I would have honestly said no and felt like a bit of a schmuck as I wasted their time trying to explain it to me. But luckily that didn’t happen. You see, these days I do my homework. I voice commercials. So I watch commercials. I listen to them on the radio. I notice things. I educate myself. And when I book a gig, or even before I audition, if possible, I make it my business to know how the client represents themselves. Knowledge is power.

I think it’s important to become interested in the work you want to do. I shudder when I remember (what I now see as) the arrogance I had as an on-camera actor years ago… I never watched tv! I refused – labeling it mostly “lame” or “bad” – and claimed I didn’t have time. And yet I wanted to be on it! How can you claim to want to be a part of something you take no interest in or notice of? True, I was waitressing and juggling about 3 other random gigs at any given time plus doing theatre, but still – I see now that part of my job as an actor was to make time.

About a year ago I started pursuing video games. I have taken a bunch of classes and now I’m clear about what the next step in my education is. It’s the simple thing that’s missing: I need to PLAY some video games! Thankfully, this should be a fun assignment (if I can just learn how to use the darn controller)!

I don’t fast–forward through commercials anymore. I study them. All the time, even when there’s no gig or audition. Because that’s not only my competition, but my barometer; my connection to the pulse of what’s happening in my field. And it’s my business to know what’s out there.

So when the director asked me in a hopeful voice, with producers and clients in tow: “Are you familiar with our campaign?” I was able to say emphatically,

Yes, I know it well. It’s voiced by ____ (fill in name of big star).

“That’s right!” he exclaimed happily. “We don’t want you to imitate her… but we’d like that same flavor, if you can try doing that.”

Oh, sure I can. No problem.

And it wasn’t.

August is always a special month for me. I find myself in reflection mode. Not only is it the happy month of my wedding anniversary, but it’s also the month I moved to LA and started my incredible West Coast journey.

I had always wanted to live in California. I had been living in NYC for ten years and was uber-ready for a change. Six months out of a very serious (and quite devastating) relationship, I was living in a padded room in some angry guy’s apartment in East Harlem whom I had met on Craigslist. (In an odd bit of foreshadowing, he had soundproofed the room I was staying in to use as a recording studio, then never did).  I was working a waitressing job I didn’t particularly care about anymore and my acting career was ok, but not exactly thriving. At the management company where I was represented I heard about a trip to Los Angeles they sponsored every so often. You’d go to LA for a week and get to audition for all these LA casting directors- a sort of “try LA on” trip. I was considering going even though it cost more money than I could imagine spending, when my roommate came up to me and growled “My sister is coming from Israel. I need the room back so you have to move out by August 1st”.  That gave me about 3 weeks. I picked up extra shifts at the restaurant, worked as many doubles as I could and signed up for the trip. Why the heck not? What did I have to lose?

I came out with two bags, ditching the rest of my stuff either at a friend’s or in the trash. Truthfully I didn’t have much, after years of moving, chaos, storage raffles, you name it. I was flying pretty light. I had no idea if I would stay in LA.  But when I got here, that next morning I went out for a walk. We were being put up in the Beverly Garland Hotel. I woke up early and took a walk down Vineland, then turned onto Ventura Blvd. (I had no idea people didn’t walk here yet. Hey, I was from NYC!) As I walked down the street, bright sun bathing me, something bubbled up inside of me and found it’s way right out of my mouth. A calm and most certain voice declared out loud, to no one and to everyone – I’M NOT LEAVING. Just as plain as that. It was so obvious. I needed to be here. The voice was sure, steady and resolved.  I’m not leaving. I belong here. Even though it was not practical at all to stay- I only had two bags and almost no money- literally, I think I had about $600.  But I knew I had to stay. I had found an open window. And I went through it.

The open window theory is a personal theory I’ve been developing for quite some time. It goes like this. Every so often in your life, you will be presented with an open window; whether you choose to go through it or not is up to you. This window will lead you into a totally new and different place – almost always a much better place – it’s almost like the window leads to a whole new land. Now the trick is, the window doesn’t stay open indefinitely. In fact many times it closes rather quickly. So you have to recognize the open window and go through it right away. This doesn’t mean doing things in a rash or crazy way. It just means being in the moment and trusting your gut.

I can look back through my life and see that certain times in the past, there were a few windows that were opened that I didn’t go through. I didn’t recognize them as open windows at the time. And they closed. Sometimes, I can see windows open in other’s lives. But I can’t make them climb through.

I wonder to myself: why is the metaphor a window? Why not a door? I guess because with windows there’s a certain amount of danger involved. When you’re standing at a distance, you can’t see what’s below. It’s not as easy as walking through a door. You don’t know if you’re going to fly or float or drop or what. You just have to trust.

Going through that open window nine years ago changed my life. 30 days later I was introduced to the man who would become my husband – a wonderful story for another time. I lived out a life-long fantasy of being a singer and touring in a band. I found voice over and stepped into my career. I thank the universe every day that I saw the opportunity and took the chance. If I had hesitated, if I had second-guessed myself, I wouldn’t know the happiness I know today. I wouldn’t have the life I have today. Sometimes we just know what’s right for us. Do we dare? Do we dare to go through the open window?

I have really been enjoying the Olympics. It’s so inspiring. Most of all, I love watching the athletes who win gold. Who doesn’t? I love watching that seemingly effortless performance – the ultimate expression of someone at the top of their game. It’s what we’re in pursuit of as creatives: being so in sync and in the moment with our craft that we glide through and everything seems like magic.

Since London-time is ahead of us here in the US, getting the news about who won is kind of unavoidable, but that doesn’t make it any less exciting to me. On the contrary, in some ways I find it more interesting. I’ve been getting really into studying the athletes’ demeanor prior to the event. Here’s what I’ve taken away. They all have something in common. They all have the eye of the tiger. Take Allyson Felix right before she won gold in the 200 meters. I was thinking as the camera followed her pre-race that she seemed so focused, so determined, she looked so in the zone- in retrospect it felt like she had to win. Of course she won.

All of the Olympic athletes are wonderfully skilled and talented at their craft. They wouldn’t be there if they weren’t. What separates out the gold medalists is their ability to handle the pressure, their mental game, so to speak. Their mental game is the most important thing.

It makes me think about auditioning. About focus and concentration. Investment. Am I putting on my game face and truly going for it each and every time I step up to the mic? Once we approach a certain level, we’re all good at our craft. But how do we handle the mental side of this career? How do we approach each audition? Do we bring baggage with us (like all the other auditions we didn’t book, for example) or are we clean, clear and fresh? Do we shrug it off and downplay our importance (the “I’ll book it if I book it” attitude)? What would it be like to step up with the eye of the tiger, every time? To have the sense that this matters, that it’s the moment you’ve been waiting for, EVERY time.

A few years ago I was studying promo intensively with a great teacher. At one point she admitted, “There’s a certain element of showing off when you step up to the mic. A certain attitude of watch what I can do.” That stuck with me because we’re taught to be humble and not show-off-y. Fine. She by no means meant to encourage show-boating or mugging. What she was talking about was confidence. Confidence so real that it’s palpable. It’s that extra something that translates into I’m a winner and it just might be the thing that gets you the job. It is easy to get complacent and just show up for the audition. But what would it be like if those athletes just showed up at their events?

It’s not about just doing the job adequately. It’s about being a gold medalist. Truly investing yourself and being willing to really compete for the gold.  A certain amount of swagger- I’m here because I belong here, now watch me prove it- is not a bad thing. In fact it might be the thing that wins it for you. Nobody can take that away from you and nobody can give it to you.

So where does confidence of that nature come from? It comes from practice of course. It comes from developing your skills so thoroughly that you can do it in your sleep. You don’t have to think about it because it’s in you- the 10,000 hours rule. But just as much as we hone our skills- I am also thinking we need to develop our spirits- our inner Olympic competitors.

When you step up to the mic (or in front of the camera, or approach whatever art it is you make) do you put on your game face?  Are you truly going for the gold? Do you have the eye of the tiger?

I love the mellowness of summer. Somehow I do not feel overly guilty about taking it easy during these hot and languid days. It is nice to be on cruise control sometimes.

I so rarely let myself cruise. My inner slave driver always thinks I should be doing MORE MORE MORE so I find that when I have spare time, I rarely use it to relax and recharge.

It is interesting to allow myself to settle into a rhythm that really has no rhythm at all. It’s the Ballad of the Self-Employed and it has so many different tempos. I can be totally slammed for a week, two weeks, three weeks and then…nothing. Quiet so loud it echoes. I am learning to enjoy this quiet. I know it will always be followed by more fast times.

We are programmed for routine, order and regular schedules. We learn that by going to school for the first 18 years plus of our lives. It takes a special knack- well, practice and discipline to be exact- to able to deal with all the stops and starts, the ups and downs, the feasts and famines of the freelancing lifestyle. Sooner or later, you learn to surrender to it. It is what it is. Jobs come and go and there’s always more around the corner.

I’ve started to relax into the quiet times and allow them to become the good times. Or, other good times. I’m starting to realize it’s all good times. This is the path I chose. This is the job. Hurry up and wait and you don’t know if you’re working the next day or not and you lose a job because of something out of your control and then you book another one for just the same reason. You dwell in the unknown, you’re flexible and up for anything because anything could happen. Part of the reason you chose this path is because you didn’t want to be bored, have a daily routine, be a slave or a time clock puncher. So FREAKIN ENJOY it, will ya? (I’m not shouting at you, I’m talking to myself!)

When things are quiet, I can certainly always find things to do. Organizing is great, clutter removal, billing, personal finances, the list goes on. But these days, in the weeks of high summer, I’m more inclined to take page from my dog’s playbook (I am looking at him as I write this, laying zenly on the floor) and simply lean into the quiet.

Fellow freelancers, I dare you to hop on and enjoy the ride, too. Go ahead, I double dog dare you. Enjoy the quiet. Go to the beach. Read a book on the patio. Waste time on the computer. There, I said it. Go for it. Be on Facebook for 3 hours. I guarantee once you get it out of your system it will not be an every day occurrence. Because we who sing the Ballad of the Self-Employed have an inner conductor that will not let us do nothing for too long. This has to be true, or we wouldn’t be where we are. We’re going to get shit done-it’s in our DNA. So why not grab a little R&R when and where we can? The madness will start again soon, I promise.

Ironically, in the time that I’ve written this, an old client and a new client just contacted me about work. I also got a rush audition and my agent called with a job that needs to be recorded today! Can’t predict these things, ya know? Break time is over.

 

 

Yoga is such a powerful force. It brings thoughts to the surface that I never would have even been connected to.  Today we had a long guided meditation during Shavasana. I never think I need those (Shavasanas or guided meditations)… I never think I need stillness and passive poses, but indeed, every time I partake,  I am blown away because it gives my brain actual space to think, regenerating me and filling me up with ideas and creativity.

Today got me thinking about the difference between want and desire.  I might want a lot of things, sure. But what is it I truly desire? What am I willing to work for? What am I willing to sacrifice for?  What am I willing to hold an unwavering vision for? What am I willing to truly allow into my experience?

Right now I’m working on reprogramming my unconscious thoughts. I am retraining my brain so every time I have a negative a thought, which usually begins with “I can’t “ or  “I’ll never”,  I actively change that to “I can” or “I am” or “I do”.  This goes for crazy poses-whoops, see that slip: “crazy”- ok, so let me reprogram here …that goes for challenging poses where my brain instantly gives up. Before my body even does, my brain shuts down and says no. And since yoga is a microcosm of life, I think to myself – where else am I doing that?

If I have programmed into my head, for instance, certain ideas about the my career (ie: “Animation is almost impossible to get into” or “There are no real opportunities for women in Promo”), I am actually telling myself this- and in essence, telling the universe – because the universe is responsive to our thoughts and energy. We are creating our future every moment. Everything that is in our lives now is the sum total of our past thoughts, feelings and actions. We have an opportunity every moment to start creating something different. The key is to have patience and faith. The universe doesn’t instantly respond. It takes the outside world a lot longer to catch up to where you are on the inside. That’s the work. You practice being the change you want, you practice it faithfully, with both discipline and surrender -surrender to when the results will show up.

Ok so maybe I’m  just regurgitating The Secret but it’s amazing how I need to be reminded sometimes, and how something is so different when you get it in your gut, as opposed to getting it intellectually. This morning I got it in my gut again.

Right now, despite plenty of work and a pretty darn full and awesome life, I feel am in the place of nothingness as Deepak would say – the place of pure potentiality. This is place where I can often start to feel scared, stuck, freaked out or helpless because nothing is seemingly happening. It feels like my goals aren’t being realized, I’m not getting anywhere, blah blah blah… but in truth this is the most exciting place to be, because this is where – if you do the work- things actually are changing and happening. You just can’t see them.

So right now I am “doing the work”.  I am rowing the boat. I am showing up at yoga, I’m using that gym membership 3 times/week, taking singing lessons and actually practicing, going to workshops and classes and auditions. I am paying down debt. And I am visioning. I am visioning a happy healthy family and a new house (with brand new hybrid car in the driveway!)  I envision myself driving onto the lot at Cartoon Network and having the gate guy let me in immediately. Because he knows who I am. Because I’m here every day for work on a hit animated tv show.  If we can’t imagine, or “see” these things, how can we ever hope to get them? Sometimes the work is just sitting down and taking time to vision these things and make them real in the mind’s eye. The physical will follow suit if  we hold the picture steadily.

Sometimes there are no parades. No Mariachi bands in our honor. No outward glory or accolades.  Sometimes there’s nothing exciting to post on Facebook or Twitter. Sometimes, there is just the work. And the promise that by and by, the things you truly desire will come to pass.

What’s your work right now?